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I remember the first time I saw it, like a freshly alert hare alarmed by movement in the distant grasslands It was 2013 Model Kate Upton was once again the subject of a Reddit post, but this time her then-ubiquitous image was speaking back, telling the viewer in an advertising campaign that ‘I wouldn’t date a guy who has grooming problems’ Ergo, why not try Gillette’s Fusion ProGlide Style razor, the 3-in-1 tool ‘for whatever style she likes’? (Kate does not like back hair) Posters in the comments were confused, some even angered, by this form of marketing that did not vaunt a masculinity represented by driving cars in wide-ranging deserts to the triumphant howls of Bon Jovi, but rather one shaped by a self-conscious call to capitulate to What The Other Likes We like Kate Upton very much, they seemed to agree But we don’t like this weird new advertising that makes us feel lesser, like we’re observed objects held to someone else’s standard    Gentleman, welcome, I thought at the time It made sense A digital world based on images and aspirations – images that made you feel bad by emphasising the gap between the aspired-to and the disappointing reality – would eventually come for us all I wondered then whether this would lead to a gentler and more sympathetic settlement in the ongoing ‘battle of the sexes’ (as the phrase went), by unveiling to more men – particularly those in the more privileged echelons – the hell of having your sense of self read through a body you did not ask for, and having that body constantly subjected to the hostile judgment of a marketplace; a marketplace that tells you that you are not beautiful enough, thin enough or that your back is not shaved enough for Kate Upton I thought, perhaps, this was the crucial step in recognising that it was all bullshit, and developing forms of love and desire actually worthy of ourselves and one another That is not how things turned out    ‘A girl online is an avatar for everyone’, Joanna Walsh writes in