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I broke three contracts in 2016 The first was verbal, a monogamy clause But he was fucking around too, and I knew, because everybody is psychic; I’d just become attuned to it The second was an NDA A man who gave me money asked me to sign it when we first met at the Hyatt near LAX But he got my name wrong, took my Twitter handle for the real thing, so I signed smiling The third and last was this reality show deal Making a documentary about my new, younger friends and their home in Koreatown   It’s been one year since I signed my friends’ lives away during my temporary stay, and two months since I officially joined their lease As is the nature of La Mariposa, most of them have since flown the co-op Morgan is living with her parents in the Bay Alicia is in New York Miffany’s been all over Ditto Max I can’t keep up The only one left is Nadezhda, the one who initially brought me in   Our relationship is sisterly I never had one She keeps asking me if I’m going to do something with this writing I was sharing it with her and the other girls as it came to me, checking my mirror, so to speak They consented yes, always I was told I was trusted, which is a large part of why I knew I had to break our contract – I didn’t want to risk compromising that   In many ways, I feel even more than a year older now I have been Saturn Returning, which is an astrological concept I’m no longer sure I believe in I’ve spent much of the last two years trying to determine how belief determines reality and how much Just last week a Kundalini instructor in Santa Monica speculated that one’s beliefs manifest as event and circumstance She was raised by a Vietnam-born mother, she said, who followed the Chinese zodiac Her mother believed that those years forecast to be bad for her astrological sign would be She feared them And they turned out to be