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Robert Assaye
Robert Assaye is a writer and critic living in London.

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Issy Wood, When You I Feel

Art Review

December 2017

Robert Assaye

Art Review

December 2017

At the centre of Issy Wood’s solo exhibition at Carlos/Ishikawa is a room-within-a room. The division of the gallery into two viewing spaces –...

Art

April 2017

'Learning from Athens'

Robert Assaye

Art

April 2017

The history of Documenta, a quinquennial contemporary art exhibition founded in the German city of Kassel in 1955, is...

1 The Triumph of Capitalism   It was the end of the cold war and capitalism had won Everywhere people were either out of a job or making obscene amounts of money If you didn’t have a plan and a German car you were nobody   Because I could tell you were about to leave me, I had to come up with a grand gesture   We were sitting in the lobby of the American hotel, where the walls are painted gold and the rooms cost three times my annual salary You were wearing your best dress and I was wearing my new suit and sunglasses because I’d spent the day going to job interviews I’d been thrown out of the army along with everyone else   Businessmen were prowling the edges of the room like lions They were looking for sexy gazelles They all noticed the way the light reflected off the gold-painted walls and lit up your face   Spooked, I told you I’d buy you anything you wanted So you asked for a submarine fleet It totally served me right     2 Sergei the Submarine Salesman   I got together with a bunch of likeminded investors We were men of vision who saw the big picture and we were going to remake the world We hired a retired submarine Captain called Yuri who drank too much and told us stories of playing cat and mouse with the Americans for forty years under the arctic sea During a long and distinguished career he’d made more than seventy-two circuits of the globe and been married five times Then the oligarchs had taken over and stolen everything, including his fifth wife   We stood in the conning tower of a reconditioned Victor III class submarine fifty miles out to sea off Archangelsk, smoking brutally strong cigarettes in the grey dawn light   The air was so cold it smelt like iron   ‘She displaces seven thousand tons, and she’ll give you fifty five kilometres an hour at top speed,’ Sergei the submarine salesman was telling us ‘Power source is two pressurized water reactors Safe, but don’t stand too close, you know?’   ‘What about the crew?’ said Captain Yuri   ‘Usual crew complement

Contributor

August 2014

Robert Assaye

Contributor

August 2014

Robert Assaye is a writer and critic living in London.

New Communities

Art

January 2017

Robert Assaye

Art

January 2017

DeviantArt is the world’s ‘largest online community of artists and art-lovers’ and its thirteenth largest social network. Its forty million members contribute to a...
The Land Art of Julie Brook

Art

Issue No. 4

Robert Assaye

Art

Issue No. 4

Julie Brook works with the land. Over the past twenty years she has lived and worked in a succession of inhospitable locations, creating sculptures...

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poetry

Issue No. 10

Letter to a Frozen Peas Manufacturer

Lydia Davis

poetry

Issue No. 10

Dear Frozen Peas Manufacturer, We are writing to you because we feel that the peas illustrated on your package of...

feature

February 2013

Famous Tombs: Love in the 90s

Masha Tupitsyn

feature

February 2013

‘However, somebody killed something: that’s clear, at any rate—’ Through The Looking Glass, Lewis Carroll   I. BEGINNING  ...

Interview

June 2013

Interview with Lars Iyer

David Morris

Interview

June 2013

Like so much of the dialogue that marks time across Lars Iyer’s books, this conversation began in the pub....

 

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