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Alice Hattrick
Alice Hattrick is a writer and producer based in London. Their book on unexplained illness, intimacy and mother-daughter relationships, titled Ill Feelings, will be published by Fitzcarraldo Editions in 2021.


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Ill Feelings

Feature

Issue No. 19

Alice Hattrick

Feature

Issue No. 19

My mother recently found some loose diary pages I wrote in my first year of boarding school, aged eleven, whilst she was clearing out...

Art

February 2016

'Look at me, I said to the glass in a whisper, a breath.'

Alice Hattrick

Art

February 2016

Listen to her. She is telling you about her adolescence. She is telling you about one particular ‘bender’ that...

glimpse   on the pitch by my house   the weekly game of football      there was one lad   already famous in our class for having snogged a girl and still my friend   despite the pull of the pack mentality I always felt outside of      I had no skill   could only put my body in front of someone else in hopes of slowing them for a moment and this time it caused my friend to fall and   in the split second it took for him to regain himself   I saw   slipped from shorts and briefs   his whole private self though he hadn’t noticed   still giggling at my sudden prowess at defence and after that   there were other times   crowding into a friend’s bedroom   me pretending not to look as someone showed himself to a girl      and the emptiness that followed nobody yet ready to do the things that come after      though it was still deliberate and so different from that earlier time the grass   that glimpse of something that seemed to be all potential   tiny sapling not yet seeding   just another part of our innocence      fear and lust and shame not yet ripened to full blush       what 16% of young men know   to get the body of their favourite sports star they must starve themselves      that the muscles are there already   if they could only get at them      that the thing to do is eat less and replace meals with water   so that they bloat and then feel their insides flushing out   that the stomach will expand and shrink back like a gas holder in a former industrial town      that once the body has burned off all its fat   it will start on muscle that more exercise just gives more energy for the body to eat itself alive   that they can forget what it’s like to stand without feeling dizzy   that their eyesight can fail   that their salad can be carried in smaller and smaller tupperware boxes that the doctor will be forced to ban the gym   will deliver his prognosis   that they will end up in the carpark of the doctors with their mum saying imagine   a child of mine   malnourished          

Contributor

August 2014

Alice Hattrick

Contributor

August 2014

Alice Hattrick is a writer and producer based in London. Their book on unexplained illness, intimacy and mother-daughter relationships,...

(holes)

Art

July 2014

Alice Hattrick

Kristina Buch

Art

July 2014

There are many ways to make sense of the world, through language, speech and text, but also the senses and their extensions. In his...

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Art

October 2015

Licence to Play

Thirza Wakefield

Art

October 2015

In his 1992 essay ‘In Search of the Centaur’, the writer and critic Phillip Lopate described the essay-film as...

fiction

Issue No. 5

Sent

Joshua Cohen

fiction

Issue No. 5

These women lived in hope, they lived for the future as if they were every one of them already...

feature

Issue No. 9

Ordinary Voids

Ed Aves

Patrick Langley

feature

Issue No. 9

I am standing in a parallelogram of shrubbery outside London City Airport. Ed is twisting a dial on his Mamiya...

 

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