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Alice Hattrick
Alice Hattrick is a writer and producer based in London. Their book on unexplained illness, intimacy and mother-daughter relationships, titled Ill Feelings, will be published by Fitzcarraldo Editions in 2021.


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Ill Feelings

Feature

Issue No. 19

Alice Hattrick

Feature

Issue No. 19

My mother recently found some loose diary pages I wrote in my first year of boarding school, aged eleven, whilst she was clearing out...

Art

February 2016

'Look at me, I said to the glass in a whisper, a breath.'

Alice Hattrick

Art

February 2016

Listen to her. She is telling you about her adolescence. She is telling you about one particular ‘bender’ that...

Establish remorse from outset Express bewilderment at sequence of events so unlikely, so absurd and catastrophic Assure all present of blemish-free record, respect for civic infrastructure, fondness for quiet life and simple pleasures (milkless Earl Grey, sensation of shower on collarbone scar, smell of wet denim, etc) Adopt strong posture, upright but unhaughty, chin raised to illustrate mettle Remain composed Nod solemnly when alleged acts detailed Promise to provide context in form of days preceding—disorientating effect, toll inflicted on sense of self/place in grand scheme/professional trajectory Blame said effect for alleged recklessness, surrendering to moment, abandonment of principles (loyalty, punctuality, even keel, modesty, graft, appropriate attire, camaraderie) Downplay partiality for music, arts Highlight childhood aptitude in mathematics, science Maintain eye contact to correct extent, avoid long monologues   Declare intention to act as own legal counsel Suggest deep knowledge of judicial protocol less important than conveying modern life’s near-infinite complexity, pressures of which intolerable Use as evidence images chanced upon recently of Earth from space, utterly dark but for luminous streaks—flight paths, arcing and meshing across planetary surface, brightest over teeming cities such as ours, sparsest over distant wildernesses beckoning like empty rooms at party hosted by enemy How to contend? How remain steady before visions so stunning, quotidian routine rendered (meaning-wise) scant? How defecate, shower, shave face, commute, toil, defer to superiors, remain polite at sandwich outlet when handsome, better-dressed, wealthier man barges past holding forth into hands-free set, causing spillage of expensive scalding-hot beverage onto newly-purchased, freshly-ironed shirt?   Resist digression   Expect prosecution to roll out photograph Contemplate image, wince, tilt head Express respect for Bill Pointer and work—recall The Singing Dunes tattered copy on Uncle Steve coffee table, youthful hours lost in pages, disbelief such places/people real, magnificence of world revealed Voice regret current incarceration prevents visit to Pointer retrospective at V&A State desire to encounter Pointer, shake hand, thank sincerely With rueful smile relate compulsive maternal scrapbooking of every traceable picture appearance across international print media—three scrapbooks required, fourth purchased as precaution Remark on poignant comparison with Robbie’s Achievements Book, maintained by mother throughout boyhood, pages stuffed with house-point cards,

Contributor

August 2014

Alice Hattrick

Contributor

August 2014

Alice Hattrick is a writer and producer based in London. Their book on unexplained illness, intimacy and mother-daughter relationships,...

(holes)

Art

July 2014

Alice Hattrick

Kristina Buch

Art

July 2014

There are many ways to make sense of the world, through language, speech and text, but also the senses and their extensions. In his...

READ NEXT

feature

Issue No. 1

Ninety-Nine, One Hundred

Tess Little

feature

Issue No. 1

Sitting at a British Library desk in July 2006, a reader carefully consulted the fraying pages of A Relation...

fiction

January 2014

The Dispossessed

Szilárd Borbély

TR. Ottilie Mulzet

fiction

January 2014

The Dispossessed is Szilárd Borbély’s first novel, although he has been active – and widely acclaimed – as a poet,...

fiction

Issue No. 9

Pulitzer Prize-Winning Author James Murphy's Notes on Nicola Morelli Berengo

Francesco Pacifico

TR. Livia Franchini

fiction

Issue No. 9

Biography | Cattolicissimo trio composed of mother father beloved son. God, why doesn’t the English language have an equivalent...

 

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