Where My Body is Cactus
for my sister
At least the supple mirage of sisterhood;
a fleshy lap, a string of pulp-flowers in her hair-
after that, mehfooz-
her forehead draped by my hand
tracing intricacies of sleep
But nani’s laceration is her father’s milk
and I am succulent with its curdle
Did you know mama’s budmouth
moves in my cheeks, still suckling
from that darkened breast?
I have become thorned to stomach it,
and still within me the stain is turgid –
let me say one last time I was harmed
The memory of wetness remains
no matter which body,
no matter how warned
So swollen, I stop bringing her mama’s nightsilk chador and
I didn’t do it to hurt you jaana,
I only ever wanted you unbreakable
I only ever wanted you unbreakable
but when I bend to kiss your hands,
my tongue is still a soaked lash
my tongue is still a soaked lash
