share


FINALLY RICH

I got a job

I got a job writing poems

oh hi I never met you before

going to write you a poem

about your anniversary

your niece’s christening

your son’s wedding

your uncle’s funeral

you provided a helpful ‘factsheet’

full of personal details

your favourite songs and anecdotes

this is my material

the tone is ‘light’

the approach is up to me

you will pay £3 a line

you will pay £5 a line

you will pay £7 a line if rhymed

but hang on

wouldn’t a real poet want to get at ‘truth’

you paid for a real poet

how can I get ‘truth’ from this ‘factsheet’

the only way to ‘truth’

is saying ‘yo, I don’t know you’

and refusing to write the poem in the poem

then I doubt you’d pay me

here’s my question

do you want to buy a poem

because you know about poetry

or because you don’t know about poetry

think I need to see you

think I need to meet you

think I need to come and stay with you for like a week

perhaps the whole thing will get out of hand

if I get involved in some ‘heavy shit’

I’ll write a screenplay about it

of course I’ll change your name

the names of my dystopian employers

charlie kaufman some bigshot director

will buy the script executive produce

and I’ll be rich I won’t write any more poems

about your uncle’s wedding

your son’s christening

your niece’s funeral

your bill: £210

happy anniversary



ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTOR


began to write poetry while at the Norwich School of Art and Design, and completed a Masters at Royal Holloway. His poems have appeared in various publications and competitions since 2005. He co-edits the anthology series Stop Sharpening Your Knives, and is currently working towards a PhD at the University of East Anglia. He was a recipient of a 2009 Eric Gregory Award. His first collection, 81 Austerities, was published by Faber in 2012. 




READ NEXT

Fiction

The White Review Short Story Prize 2017

Two Adventures

Art

November 2016

The Green Ray

Art

Issue No. 17

Water