Once Sublime

The music is sick! This guys a genius. Always trust Gaëlle. When they first saw him, everyone thought who is this ageing freak, then he hooks up his iPod – the mans a fucking God – its like holy water in your ears. The Klipsch speakers are pumping out Rod Stewart – this guy is fucking crazy, hell play anything, but it works. Hes the Nadia Comăneci of the playlist. After tonight, hes going to be Kikos DJ in residence. Red Bull and fat rails of coke, clusters of girls start to show up. Theyre tipsy, slutty, up for it – just the way we like them after dark. Some dickwad throws up over the pot plants. Kiko grabs the guys shoulder and spits in his ear ‘get the fuck out of my house, go on, fuck off’, the guy is mumbling something but Kiko shoves him towards the door, hes not listening. He hates losers who cant hold their drink. A diaphanous blonde, all skin and bones, is tottering on a pair of heels. She looks like shes walking on a tightrope. Her shoulder blades stick out, he feels the urge to shatter a bone. Neurons fried. For a second he considers clambering over the terrace rail and jumping. Just for the buzzkill. This morning when he got up, Kiko said to himself: tonight Im gonna be chilled. He needs rest, eat Japanese, catch a movie, sleep it off. Hed forgotten he was having a party at his place – he could have cancelled, but that would have taken more effort than letting things ride. Claudia shows up. Shes in Paris doing a cover for Vogue. He likes being surrounded by people who are successful at what they do. They give off positive energy. She brought some of her girl friends from the photo shoot. Supermodels are so last decade. Has beens. They’re a dime-a-dozen. Disposable. Even a dog can snag a catwalk model and get her into bed. He finds this thought amusing. Hes in a twitter war with , whos in Shanghai – what time is it there, what is he doing posting at this hour: ‘Im studying the green of my vomit’, with twitpic evidence. Sick. Who knows what the fuck hes doing over there. Other than making himself sick. Ever since the last Bond movie, Kikos been planning to go to Shanghai. Not for work – he wants to have time to get out of the hotel. Get a feel for the city. But he doesnt have the time. Story of his life. You spend your time working your arse off to earn serious cash, but to spend it you need some sort of worklife balance. And in his line of work, his job is speed. People outside the business dont understand. They think he vets companies, but hes a sprinter. He reacts in a hundredth of a second, moves at the speed of the technology. Black holes. A stock market crash lasts a second and a half. Generating billions in profits. Or losses. And its all down to you. Its hyper-instability. No time to touch ground, hes attuned to the wavelengths of algorithmic trading. Responds to an underground rhythm ordinary mortals cannot hear. Makes decisive decisions at the speed of sound. Were talking billions, were talking nanoseconds. He is constantly alert, an exceptional warrior. Britney Spears, ‘Work Bitch’. Subutex is his bro, the guy can read his thoughts, he knows what to spin to get people dancing. Gym workout music.


Jérémy is pestering Marcia to cut his hair right now. Kiko cant stand the guy any more. He used to be funny and charming. Used to be his best bro. These days, hes pathetic. Theyve known each other since they were kids. But Jérémy never realises when hes not wanted. He outstays his welcome. Hes broke, his father cut off his allowance when he found out how much he was putting up his nose. Hes managed to get himself fired from the board of directors, it had to be done. He trashed the C.E.O.s office, just picked up a chair and started swinging. At the time it made them all laugh. But afterwards, well . . . It was pretty loserish behaviour. Youve gotta be able to draw the line. Keep the wild and wasted shtick for the night-time. Daytime, you have to keep your nose clean and not make waves. The guy pisses him off. Ever since last summer when Jérémy insisted on coming to Calvi on the Rocks. Turned up without a fucking cent. Leeching off everyone. Embarrassing. Kiko had made it clear that there were ten of them staying in the house and it wasnexactly an Olympic pool either. But he showed up anyway. No respect. This is one thing Kiko cannot abide. If you cant handle your drugs, go into rehab. For years, they were inseparable, they agreed on everything. But its over now. Jérémy has lost his touch. These days, he is part of the crowd Kiko thinks of as roadkill – he is not about to feel guilty for being a killer. He knows not everyone is as lucky as he is. Always hustling, always on the move. Most of the people he knows are already past it. Its a long game, a tough game. They shoot horses dont they, Kiko would be the last man standing on the dance floor. For Jérémy, its game over. His father wont let him fall through the cracks, but hes finished. His brain probably looks like a wrinkled Chinese pot sticker. Fried and cold. He wont climb back into the ring. Kiko is hacked off to see him drooling over Marcia – Marcia still makes him horny. Jesus fuck she makes him horny! Past her prime and not really his type. But she owns it. Its something about the way she moves, she fucks with every breath. She reeks of sex. A real woman is one of the guys. He types this into twitter and jabs “Send”. Hes leaning over a bridge above a motorway. The tweets keep coming, Boule2Kriss is on this crazy riff about the ‘human Barbie’, some girl whos had surgery so she could look like a doll. Hes coming out with some sleazy porn shit. Depeche Mode – this Vernon guy is a genius. You never know what the next segue will be, but hes spinning a blinding set. Hes got B.P.M. burned onto his cortex. The party cranks up another gear, you can feel it, its buzzing, buzzing, buzzing. Janet Jackson, ‘All Nite’. Theres a lot of sucky-fucky going on in the corners, its cosmic and its crass, the way he likes it. Chicks can be dry when theyre blitzed on gutter glitter, so mind those foreskins, boys. He tweets this. Too bad for the guys whove been cut and whose pricks cant feel anything. He could have any girl in this room tonight. Thats why theyre here, just seeing the size of the apartment gets them wet and theyre gagging to suck off any guy who can afford it. He can see everything. He is a surface, attentive and alert. Its the yayo, but its not just that – his mind is a single, giant interchange. Like downtown Tokyo. Information courses through him; he classifies. He spends all day simultaneously watching eight monitors while barking orders down the phone. He is multiple. Through training, his brain works a hundred times faster than that of some bumbling C.E.O. The average bank manager is like some guy scaling a mountain on the back of a donkey while he is riding a rocket – three times round the world every day, and his giant strides dont just take him round the world from market to market, they take him to its core – sifting information, finding points that match, connecting them. Transmitter-receiver. Intergalactic sorting office. Plugged into world time. In a Sicilian village or an Indian megalopolis, in the frozen tundra or the Amazon rainforest, everywhere functions on Market time. Our advantage is speed, ubiquity is our gift. The meteor moves too fast for anyone to alter its trajectory, its all about intuition. Kiko can sense time, he is the big hand on the watch. In global time. He is the swiftest, the strongest. Its nothing to do with the drugs. He is in control. A quick bump first thing in the morning and hes off and running, no more hits until he takes a break at two p.m. – his first line. He is in control, during the day he takes only what he needs to keep riding the gnarly wave. He never spins out. He is an exceptional surfer. Hes worth this apartment, hes worth all those honeys shaking their asses in the living room, hes worth the drugs. Hes worth the Berlutis. Hes a fucking wolf. His concentric part is rising – anyone would give anything to be in his shoes. Shit! A Trentemøller remix of Presley – at this precise moment, its the perfect piece of mixology. Its savage, the babes love it, they can swivel their hips. This guy is a genius. Kiko loves him. They’re kindred spirits: in his business, Kiko is a virtuoso – he rides the comet, the comet is his body. He hears the blood pumping in his temples, the sound of his blood, throbbing, throbbing, its good. Powerful. Even the people who pretend to be modest do it because theyre bitter, because they cant be like him. If they dont get to taste the soup, they try to spit in it, but if someone passed them the bowl theyd change their tune. No-one likes a loser. He nearly tossed that old bastard Vernon out on his arse – its one of his pet hates, when people bring someone round who has no business setting foot in his place. He nearly lost his rag when Gaëlle showed up with this fucking tramp, with his piss-poor excuse about not having his gear – he had to lend the guy a T-shirt. Kiko had glared at Gaëlle but she shot him that look that always gets to him, the look of an old hand who knows what shes doing. And she was right. The guy is sick. He may not have looked like much standing in the living room in the cold light of day, but bent over his playlists right now, the look almost works. He hardly moves – tough guys dont dance – but hes at one with the music. The fucker does a 180-degree swerve into music thats hot and kitsch, and it works. Kiko glances at the track on iTunes. Candi Staton, ‘Id rather be an old mans sweetheart’. How the fuck did he have the balls to spin this now? Exactly the right tune, just the thing to get the babes warmed up despite the coke. Top night, never met a guy like this. How did a guy like you end up poor, how come youre still a filthy bum. The guy probably grew up eating peanuts off paper plates, a life fuelled by frozen crêpes and meat pumped full of antibiotics. The cultural habits of the poor make Kiko want to puke. He imagines being reduced to such a life – over-salted food public transport taking home less than 5,000 euro a month and buying clothes in a shopping mall. Taking commercial flights and having to wait around in airports sitting on hard seats with nothing to drink no newspapers being treated like shit and having to travel in steerage, being a second-class scumbag, knees jammed against your chin, neighbours elbows digging into your ribs. Screwing ageing cellulite-riddled meat. Finishing the working week and having to do the housework and the shopping. Checking the prices of things to see if you can afford them. Kiko couldn’t live like that, he would rob a bank, put a bullet in his head, he would find a solution. He would not put up with it. The fact that they do means that they deserve it. Guys like him could not live like that. What have the rich got that the poor have not? Theyre not content with what theyre given. Guys like him never act like slaves. He stands on his own two feet, come what may – he would rather die than kneel. People who allow themselves to be subjugated deserve to be subjugated. This is war. He is a mercenary. When you fall on the front lines, you dont run crying to someone. Youre here to fight. Three days ago when Kerviel was asked in an interview on telly ‘Did you realise what you were doing when you were speculating on commodities?’the kind of bullshit question that comes from a guy who doesnt realise that thats the job – Kiko fell about laughing. Do you really think we have time to inspect our own arsehole to check whether it’s clean. Who is the strongest. The fastest. That’s the only question. As soon as you know the answer, you go for it. Youve got guys bellyaching about the markets, they bring Kerviel on and they want him to say it was all his fault. Why dont you ask the real questions: who sells these shows? They are the masters of the universe. Ask yourself what Google is doing instead of bleating that you dont understand the industry. Twelve trains late, gentlemen. Who comes up with the algorithms, thats the only important question. The little people worry about the rise of the far right. That wont change the markets. Whether its the far right or anyone else, the markets will barely notice. There is no going back. These people are still living in the thirties. Kiko is connected to the universal flux, the pure source of power, money may thrash, it shies, it rears but Kiko stays in the saddle. Would anyone think to ask a bomber pilot to examine his conscience? People are still worrying about threats to education and social security. Retards. Do the unemployed need to read in their free time? The old world is done and dusted. Why bother educating people who are surplus to the job market? The next time the peoples of Europe are called upon, it will be for war. You dont need to learn about literature and maths to fight. Now theres something that could kick-start the economy. A war. But well-read welfare scroungers – honestly, what a ridiculous notion. People think that on the trading floor we give a shit about protest movements – they really believe that it makes a traders heart bleed to see a bunch of guys without the cash to buy bread? Lifes always been like this. Its hard. Its war. When Kerviel crashes and burns, no-one rushes to defend him. When it comes to Kikos turn –he will face it alone. He is a mercenary, he knows he can count on no-one. In a war you have to win. To survive. To have the proper tools. The right algorithm. The rest is poetry. Empty promises. Of course there is the thrill. Yo, shitwank, you think I dont get a hard-on for a bonus trailing five zeros? If he walked over to Subutex and said, you know today I added hundreds of thousands of euros to my capital, hed know that made him hard, right? Hes got a full-on robot chubby. He is a bull in the ring, he fights. He sees people whove retired at forty. Palaces big cars and high-class hookers, they move to countries where no-one gives a shit about human rights, where people are progressive, where they dont hassle you for income tax. Hes never seen one of them with tears in his eyes because little black bamboula hasnt got enough to eat. Try doing what I do, youll see. I hedge, I speculate, I double, I anticipate, I short. Always on the alert. Bad news for the people of France: the partys over. Move along, theres nothing to see here. Weve sold off the fridges the laptops and now were restocking to fuck off and sell elsewhere. And youll do what? Apart from whingeing, what are going to do? Kill each other? Good idea. Weve got arms to trade. His countrymen are dumb, ungrateful, arrogant arseholes. They take to the streets shouting bullshit slogans and thinking theyre all that. Theyre nothing. Up where we are, we dont even hear. Not a whisper reaches our ears. Its all done and dusted. Its over. Wave your little pamphlets. We cant even hear you.


He needs to get to bed early tonight. One more line, one last drink and then beddy-byes. Albert King. ‘Breaking up Somebodys Home’. Vernon is shit hot. Kiki yells DJ REVOLVER IN DA HOUSE. He knows its trashy but he doesnt give a shit, its his place hell trip how he likes. Its wild, the guys got like a sixth sense. Hes at the controls and the spaceship is about to lift off. Its tight, the people the bodies the lights the sounds – its too tight. He goes over and grabs Vernons shoulder. Fuck dude, props on the set, its awesome, the sound is banging. Youre a bad bad badass motherfucker. The baddest. You got everything you need in your room? Just ask, yeah? Want me to hook you up with a babe? Ive had, like, a million DJs here and maybe theyve got a style but you . . . youre one badass mofo. Look at them bitches, look what youre doing to them, any minute now the whole room will be one big fucking orgy. Actually, Kiko decides he likes the guys face. Hes not shy, hes mysterious. At first sight, he assumed Vernon was a loner. He hates that. Motherfuckers are savage or at the very least theyre loudmouths. Theyre up for anything. Shyness is a sign of subterfuge. Of middle-class hipsters. The fucktards who think theyre someone. Timidity is the sign of neurosis, neurosis is the sign of treachery. Youve got to be careful who you let in if you want the atmosphere to stay fluid. You have to filter. An apartment is like a country. Youve got to keep out the undesirables, youve got to be ruthless, only let in people who know how to party. Im paying so I get to choose. This Vernon guy is brooding and mysterious, ever since he started spinning the tunes hes been transfigured. An artist. Hes an artist. Its always useful to have a couple around. Tonight, for example, hes short of actresses. They always add a little something. Not actresses off the telly. Theyre boring. Theyre depressing. They drag you down. Like stand-up comedians. ‘So weit wie noch nie – old school techno. Everyones up, everybodys pumping, its like trance. Truly, this guys got mad skills. Its something you cant put your finger on, but when a DJ brings a little soul, everyone senses it. Just when Kiko was about to hit the sack, the perfect tune. Theres been a dark-haired girl circling him for a while now, she thinks he hasnt seen her as she gets more and more obvious. Give it a few minutes, shell be dancing naked in front of him, desperately trying to make eye contact. Her nose is so skinny he wonders how she can get coke up there without it disintegrating on the spot. Maybe its a prosthesis, maybe before she sucks him off, shell take off the nose and show him her zombie face. Shake that body, baby, shake it. Ill take care of you. Tonight Im not going to fuck you, Im too shattered, but Ill take you to bed. Well fall asleep next to each other. Biancha is dancing with her eyes closed, Marcia is pressed against her back. A little lesbian performance, go on give us some girl-on-girl action, set this room ablaze. Its hell in here. Tribal, tribal. I love it. He takes the dark-haired girl by the hand. She looks like shes sixteen. Im going to fall asleep with two fingers in that shaved little pussy of yours, but Im not going to fuck you, I dont have the energy, maybe you could blow me, but I dont think I can even manage to come. In his apartment, porn is what happens in the bed. Hes a god. His bedroom is far enough from the living room that he can leave the others to amuse themselves. He is a prince. He doesnt say goodnight, he beckons for the girl to come with him and she complies. Theyre all the same, and the ones who think theyre too good to come when he whistles can go fuck themselves, theres always some girl shrewd enough to want to keep him warm. Because tomorrow, who knows, maybe Ill remember you, maybe well enough to give you a little present. It all depends on you, on how good you are.


This is an excerpt from Virginie Despentes’ forthcoming novel Vernon Subutex, 1 (MacLehose, 2017). A longer version is published in The White Review No. 19.